The Seeker

If I don’t put more effort, this will soon turn into a blog about my loneliness. I think it all started towards the end of high-school when I alienated a couple of my best friends as they didn’t share the same taste in movies that I did.


Over through my university years, I managed to make the nerdiest of friends, who in the end left for MIT and Stanford, while my grades kept me in Lebanon.

And then I was stuck in sort of a loop. The schizophrenia happened and I recovered, but I never managed to create for myself a new circle of friends. And here I am whenever I meet someone new, they wonder why I don’t have a circle of friends. They find it odd and then stay away.
Plus my interests are a bit nerdy and not for everyone.

In a way I blog and write online to fill the social gap and maybe to meet new people. But so far, nothing came out of it. Mainly probably cause I am in the wrong country. I have met a few girls through Facebook and online dating, but they were not for me.

And so here I am seeking friendship. Seeking companionship. I have always fought the idea or label that I am somewhat inferior or less competent than anyone else. But a book I read about human evolution suggests that growth of the human brain is in large part attributed to man ability to form social bonds. The brain is very well attuned for us to create a social connection with 150 people. These are the friends and people in our lives. Maybe my brain is not good for that. It doesn’t explain how schizophrenia has not been culled out by evolution. Or maybe it will in this day and age, as more and more schizophrenics die alone with no one to propagate their condition.

But I am optimistic. I am the seeker, I will search high and low, to find that special someone.